Despite so many modern-day conveniences brought to us by technological advances, fast-paced lifestyles place a high demand on our time. Between juggling a career, family obligations, errands, our health, and social life, it’s rare to find time to focus on the less tangible aspects of our lives. Our mental well-being, stress levels, and certainly our marriages don’t receive nearly as much attention as they deserve.
While we can all benefit from better prioritizing those areas of our lives that are most important, there’s only so much “fat” you can cut before you get to the “meat.” We lead busy lives and that’s not going to change. What can change, however, is how we leverage our technological advances to save us time and provide us with access to things that maybe have previously been out of reach. That’s where online marriage counseling comes in.
Coordinating weekly sessions with your spouse or partner in a therapist’s office can be a major inconvenience, not to mention a significant expense. But platforms now exist that allow you to attend sessions with professional, licensed therapists online or via therapy apps. Not only is this solution more convenient than in-person couples counseling, but it’s also more affordable. One session with a marriage counselor can cost as much as a monthly subscription for unlimited online counseling. Another often overlooked benefit is that whereas your communication with in-person marriage therapists in between sessions is normally nonexistent, with some of the providers listed above you and your spouse can engage in an ongoing dialogue with your therapist via chat, and discuss issues as they come up. This allows couples to deal with quarrels in real-time rather than having to take notes on them, and then discuss them days later with their therapists after they’ve potentially snowballed into larger fights.
The technology behind online counseling platforms is straightforward. Chat sessions are conducted in a personalized chat room that resembles your SMS function on your phone. If you’d like to speak with your counselor over the phone, you simply pick a date and time from the calendar in your designated chat room, which the therapist then confirms. Video chat scheduling works the same way as how you’d set up a phone call (simply choose a date and time that’s convenient for you from the calendar).
This level of flexibility with your therapist can open up a world of options previously unavailable to those engaging in marriage counseling. Want to talk alone, without your partner? No problem. Want to schedule an emergency dual session? No problem.
Although convenience and cost are important, the most important aspect of therapy is effectiveness. While not much research has been conducted specifically on online couples counseling, one Curtin University study did report similar efficacy rates between couplines in online sessions compared with those attending in-person sessions.
Is Online Marriage Counseling Right for You?
Online marriage counseling works well for many couples, but it is not the right fit for every situation. Before signing up, consider where you and your partner stand on a few key questions.
Questions to Ask Before You Start
Are your schedules too unpredictable for regular in-person appointments? If finding a time that works for two busy people, including a commute to a therapist's office, feels impossible, then the flexibility of online counseling is a clear advantage. Most platforms allow you to book sessions at off-peak hours, including evenings and weekends.
Do you have a quiet, private place to attend sessions? Online sessions work best from a space where both partners feel comfortable speaking openly. If your home has limited privacy, it is worth thinking through where and when sessions would happen before committing to a platform.
Are you comfortable with video or phone conversations? Some couples find it easier to open up face-to-face. If either partner feels that screen-based communication would make it harder to be honest, an in-person therapist might be more effective.
Are either of you experiencing a mental health crisis or dealing with domestic conflict? Online therapy has meaningful limitations in situations that involve safety risks. If there is any concern about one partner's safety, in-person therapy with a clinician who can respond to a crisis directly is the stronger option.
If your answers point toward online counseling being a practical fit, any of the platforms reviewed on this page are worth exploring. If you are not sure, many services offer a free consultation or a money-back trial period, which removes much of the risk of starting.
