The way to ourselves is not, in my experience, a straight line. What I've seen--more than anything--is that the way to ourselves is as wild & unpredictable as a sudden Colorado thunderstorm; as deep & strong as the currents in the ocean 80 leagues beneath the surface; as mutable & responsive as the wind through the mountain pines.
In my years of sitting with people--as a friend, father, lover, partner, bartender, & as a therapist for the last 8 years--I have found a few things to be irrefutably true about us: we humans need only a handful of elements in our lives to help us be--& stay--well. There is no magic in these things themselves. That is, the components of wellness are not imaginary & we need not cast spells for them to appear, nor do we need to attempt to buy them on the internet, or surrender our day-world lives to become an ascetic; & with that being said, once these powerful elements are in our lives, in our bones, and in our hearts, there is no unlearning what they feel like & how vital they are for our surviving & our thriving.
What are those elements?
Connection to ourselves & the more-than-human world.
The truth is that we can never escape pain or heartbreak in life. What we can do is work to reduce our attachment to the outcomes of our experiences & encourage ourselves to accept what is, rather than lament what is not.
As humans, we have an incredible capacity for resilience & adaptability & we possess the potent skill to accept what is, & work within that frame. Our conditioned state--that came through our upbringing, & the small & large traumas we experienced-- is often one that is trained to reject what is &, in so doing, diminish our ability to have better, fuller, richer lives.
In my own work & in my work with clients, I am seeing, & coming to understand on a deep level, that life doesn't simply happen us; that we possess agency, & the will to shape what the universe hands us into a life we can believe in & a self that we can both celebrate & deeply love--especially when we listen deeply & well to what is ours to do &, just as importantly, what is not.
I look forward to meeting & possibly working with you.