Conflict: The Alternative Way to Communicate

Emmy van Deurzen and Claire Arnold Baker (2005) state, “There are human relationships of all different sorts. Relationships can be public or private, friendly or adversarial, supportive or undermining, cooperative or competitive. They can be freely chosen or they can be forced upon us by necessity or circumstances.” Have you ever noticed your way of […]

Forgiveness For Yourself and Others

I have heard from many clients that it is a huge task to forgive oneself and to forgive others when mistakes have been made. Many couples’s relationships can break down and often the top reason is due to a lack of trust in the relationship. We all make mistakes, as Alexander Pope said “To err […]

The Misunderstandings of Couples Therapy

You’re wondering if it would be a jailable crime, or maybe you’re hoping that it’s even possible, to kill your spouse with some huge verbal insult. Revenge might seem appealing. You do not want to continue living with the person. There is just no way that you’re willing to sit in a marriage counselor’s office […]

Improve Relationship

Want to Improve Your Relationship? It’s Easy if You Do it Smart

When relatives, friends, colleagues and dating couples experience declining quality in their relationships, they sometimes focus on a sense of boredom, failure, or depression, even anger. Exasperated remarks such as “He/she just doesn’t ‘get’ me” and vice versa express a lack of insight and/or frustration in one or both directions of the relationship. Tension builds […]

Pinnochio

How to Spot Signs of Lying

There are many cartoons filled with dark humor about the guy who’s “gonna call” the woman he just met, to ask her for a date. They often show a dust-covered skeleton covered in cobwebs and holding a phone. Similar fare makes fun of business people waiting for promised calls. Job applicants know the feeling well. […]

Broken Heart

How to Know When It’s Time to Move On

You’ve flirted, dated, mated and hated. There are gaps in your love life. What’s going on and why can’t he or she meet your expectations? What about that nagging question in your mind, or of your mouthy friends, that it’s time to move on from the unresponsive person? Love is a Verb You might need […]

Spouses Fighting

“I Hate My Spouse” – Should You Run?

Psychologist Dr. Sonya Freedman wrote the book Men Are Just Desserts, How learning to be a woman with a life of your own can enrich the life you share with a man. The pun in the title proposes that a person marries someone they deserve for good or for bad. Freedman taught her readers that […]

Married Online Counseling

Married With Children & Experiencing Problems? Online Relationship Counseling Can Help

Blended families are one thing. The “Yours, mine and ours” reality can bring on confusing priorities and parenting roles. The genetic simplicity of the “Only ours” situation isn’t necessarily easier, though. Kids are tough on first, and all the other numbers of marriages. The tension, the divided loyalties, even the question “Who do I support, […]

Bad Relationship

The Ultimate Guide to Fixing Your Relationship

“The job is not to fall in love, it’s to stand in love.” That idea doesn’t sound like Hollywood’s message that true love is recognized by losing control, good sense and a vision of purpose. Romantic movies and bodice-ripping romance novels have people rushing about to provoke passion, moping over lost or never-found love interests, […]

Relationship

Creating Shared Meaning in Intimate Relationships

We all enter into our most important and intimate relationships laden with hopes and dreams for what the relationship will hold. It is these hopes and dreams and the shared meaning we create out of them that bolster the relationship and keep it buoyant in times of challenge and conflict. In my previous article on […]