I Love You, But I Am Leaving You – Why Love Is Not Enough

Love is viewed as a powerful force, one that can do anything and is totally unstoppable against all else. This is how it gets talked about in society and is portrayed in different forms of media: movies, TV, books, music, etc. It’s an idyllic view and a compelling one, too.

I love you but I am leaving

Yet, love is not powerful in the way that people think it is. A relationship can be full-to-bursting with love from all of the parties involved, but that isn’t always a good reason for that relationship to continue to exist. More often than not, it blinds people to the reality of things and prevents them from being able to properly protect themselves from things that intend to do them harm.

There are times where love is not enough for a relationship to be successful. There are numerous factors that can impact the health and security of a relationship. You have to understand that there is more to a relationship than loving someone and you have to be able to recognize when the love you both feels isn’t worth it anymore. In order to understand how this is possible, you have to be aware of what circumstances and issues might mean that it’s time for the relationship to come to an end even if you both still love each other.

The Relationship Is Toxic

A relationship needs to be healthy in order for it to thrive and there’s needs to be more than love in order for that to happen. Without communication, patience, respect, or mutual understanding, most relationships won’t thrive. Forcing a relationship that lacks these necessary components can cause it to turn toxic and harmful. This can ultimately result in harm towards anyone and everyone involved, usually going beyond the main members of the relationship. Love does not excuse or justify the pain a person can be put through in a toxic relationship. If things are getting bad or—in extreme cases—if people are getting hurt, then it’s time to walk away.

You Can’t Agree on The Future

Some couples can love each other, but not to the point where it’s able to help their relationship grow any further. It’s normal for a relationship to plateau or reach a point where things do not change, but it’s not normal for that to be the state that it stays in forever. There are several reasons why this stagnation can happen, and sometimes it’s just because both parties have different ideas about the future of the relationship and can’t agree. The two biggest issues with this pertain to marriage and children: one person might want to get married and have kids, but the other person doesn’t feel the same. Because they can’t agree on how they want to move forward—or even when, in some cases—the relationship stays the way it is. You might still love each other, but there’s nothing else that’s propelling you both forward.

There’s No Chemistry

This applies to physical or sexual chemistry. People don’t always place physical intimacy very high on their list of priorities in a relationship—and some place it too high—but it’s considered to be a necessary component for a healthy romantic relationship. Enduring poor or even bad sex because you love each other will often leave you both miserable in the long run. Sometimes you can try to make things better—look at what you both like and don’t like, try something new, etc.—but there comes the point in which it can be a lost cause.

There’s Constant Sacrifice Without Reward

Relationships require a lot of effort, and a successful relationship requires both parties to contribute equally. This applies to financial, emotional, mental, and physical contributions. It’s a partnership. However, there are instances where one person puts in more effort than the other and does not get an equal reward for doing so. The disparity that this can create if it isn’t kept in check can be enough to through the entire relationship off-balance—and sometimes permanently. It’s not healthy to sacrifice your own needs and desires for someone else if they’re not willing to do the same for you, regardless of how much you love them. Continuing to do so can generate a toxic relationship and foster resentment.

You’re Too Dependent On Each Other

The love you have for someone can sometimes feel all-consuming, to the point where you can’t picture your life without that person. This is common when love is new and might be the case for those who have been together for a very long time, but it shouldn’t be to the point where neither of you can function without the other. Excessive dependency, or codependency, is often a sign that a relationship is extremely unhealthy as the line between need and want is blurred—sometimes to the point of obsession. This is often where love can be blinding, as it can make it incredibly difficult for either person to see that things are not normal.

Theresa Smith, CASAC, CRC, LMFT, LPC

Theresa Smith is a relationship expert with over 20 years of experience. She has worked in different areas including clinical work, and more recently a writer. She has a passion for happy relationships and feels that it’s an attainable goal for everyone.

Theresa has several professional credentials centered around mental health, psychology, dating, relationships, and addiction treatment. She has written thousands of articles and many e-books on many facets of dating and relationships.

More For You