Can you Feel the Love Tonight? Are They Interested

Adebolanle Ade, MSW, RBT
November 26, 2019

“How do I know if they are interested in me?” I get this question all the time and honestly, these days, it’s becoming harder to give one direct answer. We live in a world where there are all kinds of (romantic) relationships – “friend-zone”, “friends with benefits (FWB)”, “No label”. It can be super nerve-wracking not knowing what type of relationship you have with someone, not knowing what you really mean to them, and or not knowing if the feeling you have is mutual. Being uncertain about your relationship with someone is a recipe for awkward situations.

love tonight

Here are 3 surefire cues that they are interested in you.

1. Body Language

More often than not, our body does more talking than our words. You can tell a lot about what someone is feeling by observing their body language. If you are hanging out with this person and they are standoffish, chances are, they might not be very much interested. Mirroring is one way to tell how this person is feeling. If they are interested, they would try to connect to you by mirroring your own body language. When talking, they’re leaning in, feet pointing towards you, and maintaining eye contact. When a person is interested in you, they’d want to be close to you; they’d probably look at you after making a joke to see your reaction right away. “Accidental” brushing is another major body language to look out for. It could be something as seemingly innocent as holding on to high fives a little longer or intentionally placing hand against yours as a reaction to something you said.

If they avoid eye contact, position body away from you while having a conversation, seem aloof, chances are, they’re not feeling it.

2. Initiates

A person that wants to be part of your life would make the effort to be no matter what. Another sure fire way to know that they are interested is if they initiate. If a person is interested in you, they will initiate conversations and or outings; they will demonstrate interest in talking to you. A person who is interested in you will find opportunities to talk to you, they’d want to know more about you by asking questions and showing genuine interest in learning about you.

Are they talking about themselves non-stop? Maybe they are trying to impress you. If they are never asking questions about you, initiating conversations, or showing interest in getting to know you, they are probably not interested.

3. They tell you

One of the most important lessons I have learned when it comes to relationships is that being up-front is the best policy. As a grown woman who does not have time to waste, I am not shy of asking the question “what are you looking for?” When you’re newly talking to a person, it feels good, you are getting to know each other, and spending time in each other’s company. It is easy to get carried away in the moment that you just go with the flow. If you are keen to knowing if they’re interested in a romantic relationship, you can simply ask. This can only go one of two ways; they say they are, or they say they are not.

Usually, when a person is interested or not interested in a romantic relationship, they are most likely telling you, and you just have to listen.

Adebolanle Ade, MSW, RBT

Adebolanle Ade is a Mental Health Social Worker and Registered Behavioral Technician. She has many years of experience writing and advocating for mental health awareness.

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