Life comes with an emotional bruising and many lessons that we only realize in retrospect. Sometimes you might feel like giving up on ever having a life that feels worth living. Welcome to the normal world. Most of humanity experiences those very thoughts some time or another, and repeatedly. It is possible to brace for the impact, though, and to smile through challenges. Let’s give it a go.
Teenagers often experience heartache when the object of their affections doesn’t fall in love with them, or cheats with someone else. The agony of the person hurt by that is very real, agonizing, and common. Gossiping about the perp is not a coping mechanism, though, even if the complainer insists that it is. Suicide threats are no help, either. Solace comes from spending time recognizing your admirable traits, making friendships with people you admire, and letting life put itself back in order as you pursue sensible activities. Spend your time from now on becoming the person that you want to be, so that someone else will want to fill your heart with love in the future. Becoming worthy of those affections lets you look in the mirror with a smile.
If you’re suffering from abuse in the home or workplace (e.g., physical, sexual, verbal, financial abuse), that’s a situation to be addressed by mental and medical health professionals plus law enforcement figures. If you know of someone suffering that way, or if you’re the abused person, you can reach out to professionals on your own. There’s an ever-increasing social and legal awareness of abuse issues, and an increasing number of solutions (e.g., Britain sends domestic abusers to jail as of 2018). Even if you want to die, or if you want to harm the abuser, you have happier options, including a better life. Reach out for the help you need, starting with trusted friends, teachers, colleagues, or other adults who can give you necessary assistance in ending the abuse.
What if you’re a guy unable to commit to a job, to people disappointed that you keep breaking promises to them, or to your scholastic needs? Many college staff members are far too familiar with male students who drop out, transfer schools, or waste time and money on classes that won’t lead to college degrees and careers. In some cases, the guy involved becomes suicidal. The people around him are desperate to shake the nonsense out of man, and wonder how to promote his successes in life. The problem in such cases might be Peter Pan Syndrome. Psychotherapist Dr. Dan Kiley wrote an informative book about the problem, The Peter Pan Syndrome; Men Who Have Never Grown Up (Avon Books, 1983). Kiley details the issues that bother males who fail to mature emotionally, and what they and their victims can do to end the problem.
Do enduring weight control (or weight out of control) or other health problems seem to plague you? Many negative emotions can evolve over time, leaving you feeling terrified, desperate, and clueless about what to do. Instead of surrendering to that, seek out help wherever it may be.
Whether or not your emotions are churning over the issues above or something else, there are many actions that you can take to create a life worth living. Become involved with charitable endeavors that will cheer up other people as you feel heroic for meeting their needs. Become part of a social cause that improves the environment or political realities to benefit many people. Any of those activities will look good on your resume, and they stand a strong chance of making you smile again.
Still need relief? Social media is dominated by self-help groups that address all the medical and emotional issues from A to Z. Therapeutic services abound online and in the brick and mortar world, too. Scroll around the e-counseling website to learn of many helpful options. Open a phone book or your web browser to seek out other forms of help.
Yocheved Golani is a popular writer whose byline has appeared worldwide in print and online. A certified Health Information Management professional, she is a member of Get Help Israel. Certified in Spiritual Chaplaincy (End of Life issues) and in counseling skills, her life coaching for ill people puts healthy perspective into a clients’ success plan for achieving desired goals.